February 11, 2014

Marriage was Made for More

Last night, Will and I we went to an event called Marriage was Made for More with some friends from the church we go to in Charlotte. Our Pastor, David Chadwick and his wife, along with John and Laura Kasay, shared some Do's and Don'ts that they found to be helpful in building a stronger Christ-filled relationship with your significant other and also gave some great advice for those hoping to marry! I took what I felt to be good notes and thought I'd share some of those with y'all this morning.

It's not all about lining up the facts and it doesn't really matter "winning" the argument.
I often struggle with this one. It's not that I desire to have the last word in an argument, rather, I like to give the facts and make them known. I've realized this and plan to continue working on it, but I'm not perfect and neither is Will! Knowing this and remembering that during arguments will be key to  more successful outcomes.

Conflict is OK.
What couple do you know that has a perfect relationship? How many people do you know who say they don't fight with their significant other? I can't think of anyone, and if I knew of someone who said they were living a "happily ever after", I would just have to shack my head in utter disbelief. It's just not true. Conflict is perfectly fine and can be healthy for a relationship. Don't believe me? eHarmony seems to feel that every relationship NEEDS conflict! Go read the article for yourself.
"Marriage is the graduate school of servanthood."
I just love this quote that David Chadwick shared with us. Simple as that! 

Continue to date each other.
You have probably heard of the saying "I feel like we are already an old married couple" right? When I hear that, I think about a couple that does the same ole' things each and every day. Life together gets dull and the chemistry just isn't as strong as it once was. Whether you have been together for a few months, or a number of years, dating each other and keeping your relationship "fresh" is vital! Have one on one time regularly doing something fun together.
Keep a Thankful List.
John shared this one and I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner! It happens to every one of us though. We take those that we are closest to for granted and when we argue, we often doubt the relationship and may even start to question every little thing that we face. At least for me I have done this before. But what would happen if you had a list of all the things you were thankful for regarding your significant other? Would your focus on all the negative things change? I am going to try this and the next time Will and I butt heads, I am going to look at my Thankful List and see if my perspective is put back in line. I'll let you know how it works!

Pray and serve together.
Another important one. David Chadwick said that it's hard to be mad at someone you are praying for. That couldn't be any truer for me! Praying together and for one another is something that Will and I (overtime) have gotten so good at doing. Not only does prayer work, but it's something that takes practice and should become an everyday and natural thing. When I was first learning about prayer, I read A Praying Life by Paul Miller and it changed my praying life for the better.

Serving together is another key aspect to a healthy and successful Christ-centered relationship and something that Will and I have not done enough of yet. While serving, you get to see your significant others true colors shine through and how wonderful does it make you feel to see them doing good for others? It's contagious!

Surround yourself around people who want your relationship to work. 
For years, I surrounded myself with friends who didn't want to see my relationships work out. They were either jealous that I was in a relationship or didn't want to see me happy. Whatever the reason, those are not the type of people I want to be around.


  1. Thank you for that great reminder! You and the hubs are super cute too, doll! Xoxoxo

  2. Thank you so much for sharing! I wanted to go to the event and then completely forgot! I love the part about keeping a "thankful list" - I often take my wonderful boyfriend for granted.

    1. Hi Caitlin! Aw! Are you able to make the one tonight at the other church location? I'm so glad you enjoyed my post and you should try starting a "thankful list" too! :) Oh and your a No-Reply blogger so I couldn't email you back! Go read my post I did on how to fix it (see below)! Hope it helps!


  3. Hey sweetness! I found out that David and Marilyn were hosting this over the weekend, and I so wish Mark and I could've stayed in Charlotte to attend!!!! I love listening to David...Mark and I miss his teaching so much! Just listened to a podcast yesterday from him and will be today too so I can keep up with this sermon series on the birds and the bees!!! :)

  4. wow, these are all such good things to remember and practice! thanks for posting this ;)

  5. Love this advice...so many great things in one post! Last week Chris and I went on an early Valentines Date and it was lots of fun and we realized we hadn't been on a "date" in quite some time! Even though we grab dinner and spend all of our time together there is something special about date night ya know?! Anyways--thanks for sharing this!

  6. I think that wen it comes to conflicts in a relationship its very much how you handle them that matters. For example, calling eachother names, or screaming and such is for me not ok. I think that it shows that one has little respect for eachother. But to get into a heated argument where one stays on topic is perfectly normal and not getting into. However, getting into a conflict from time to time in a relationship is perfectly normal and healthy, just as you wrote.

    1. AMEN! I couldn't agree more with what you said! We are on the same page and I am so glad that you enjoyed my post :) Love your Instagram and can't wait to read your blog!

  7. This is all amazing advice! I just finished the book "The Meaning of Marriage" by Tim Keller and this hit a lot of the same points. I'd highly recommend the book! I also just added "A Praying Life" to my must read list :) Thanks for sharing!

  8. LOVE reading this. I miss Charlotte so much and one of the big reasons I miss it = Forest Hill! David Chadwick is so amazing and Spyros and I love listening and learning from him. Thanks for sharing this, sweet girl! Xx.

  9. I loved reading this. My fiancé and I are around each other 24/7 since we started our firm, and are at each other's throats a lot too. Sometimes I think the key is knowing how to fight, like you said, and not going too far with what you say out of anger. Such a great post, Melissa!!! Thanks for sharing!


  10. I love this. Sounds like such a great exercise for those entering into marriage. Love seeing pictures of you and Will, so sweet! Enjoy your snow day!

  11. just now getting around to reading this post and it is just at the right time! funny how God works sometimes! work has been so crazy lately that matt and i are just exhausted all the time and getting to the point where we take our anger out on one another. definitely going to try making a thankful list to look at when i am feeling frustrated and down!

    thanks for sharing these tips sweet cheeks, you are the greatest!

    xo mk


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