Marriage was Made for More

Last night, Will and I we went to an event called Marriage was Made for More with some friends from the church we go to in Charlotte. Our Pastor, David Chadwick and his wife, along with John and Laura Kasay, shared some Do's and Don'ts that they found to be helpful in building a stronger Christ-filled relationship with your significant other and also gave some great advice for those hoping to marry! I took what I felt to be good notes and thought I'd share some of those with y'all this morning.

It's not all about lining up the facts and it doesn't really matter "winning" the argument.
I often struggle with this one. It's not that I desire to have the last word in an argument, rather, I like to give the facts and make them known. I've realized this and plan to continue working on it, but I'm not perfect and neither is Will! Knowing this and remembering that during arguments will be key to  more successful outcomes.

Conflict is OK.
What couple do you know that has a perfect relationship? How many people do you know who say they don't fight with their significant other? I can't think of anyone, and if I knew of someone who said they were living a "happily ever after", I would just have to shack my head in utter disbelief. It's just not true. Conflict is perfectly fine and can be healthy for a relationship. Don't believe me? eHarmony seems to feel that every relationship NEEDS conflict! Go read the article for yourself.

"Marriage is the graduate school of servanthood."
I just love this quote that David Chadwick shared with us. Simple as that! 

Continue to date each other.
You have probably heard of the saying "I feel like we are already an old married couple" right? When I hear that, I think about a couple that does the same ole' things each and every day. Life together gets dull and the chemistry just isn't as strong as it once was. Whether you have been together for a few months, or a number of years, dating each other and keeping your relationship "fresh" is vital! Have one on one time regularly doing something fun together.

Keep a Thankful List.
John shared this one and I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner! It happens to every one of us though. We take those that we are closest to for granted and when we argue, we often doubt the relationship and may even start to question every little thing that we face. At least for me I have done this before. But what would happen if you had a list of all the things you were thankful for regarding your significant other? Would your focus on all the negative things change? I am going to try this and the next time Will and I butt heads, I am going to look at my Thankful List and see if my perspective is put back in line. I'll let you know how it works!

Pray and serve together.
Another important one. David Chadwick said that it's hard to be mad at someone you are praying for. That couldn't be any truer for me! Praying together and for one another is something that Will and I (overtime) have gotten so good at doing. Not only does prayer work, but it's something that takes practice and should become an everyday and natural thing. When I was first learning about prayer, I read A Praying Life by Paul Miller and it changed my praying life for the better.

Serving together is another key aspect to a healthy and successful Christ-centered relationship and something that Will and I have not done enough of yet. While serving, you get to see your significant others true colors shine through and how wonderful does it make you feel to see them doing good for others? It's contagious!

Surround yourself around people who want your relationship to work. 
For years, I surrounded myself with friends who didn't want to see my relationships work out. They were either jealous that I was in a relationship or didn't want to see me happy. Whatever the reason, those are not the type of people I want to be around.

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